Thanks to you, i know it's ok to be me
by Sugarvenom92
Summary: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE SCHOOL STORY! FROM ALL POV'S ! LOVE/FRIENDSHIP/SCHOOL/LIFE ...START: "Hey Fucker" I called to Frank who was already waiting for us by the schools entrance. He blew out the smoke he was choking on and laughed, his hair flopped infront of his face, he shook it out of the way and stretched his fully tattooed arms.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi guys, you know me always wanting to write about something new, well I think I've got my little piece of addiction for the moment. This is based on a really weird, really cool dream I had a while back and I had it again the other night so I thought I'd see what I could do with it ^^  
>I am still writing for my other stories but I'm switching between them because I don't want to become bored on them and make them rubbish.<br>I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ONE, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. FOR EVERY NEW REVIEW I WILL ADD ANOTHER CHAPTER TO THE END AS I HAVE AN ALMOST COMPLETE STORY FOR THIS ONE ^^  
>xoxo<strong>_

**Chapter One.**

**Gerard's P.O.V.**

"Hey Fucker" I called to Frank who was already waiting for us by the schools entrance.

He blew out the smoke he was choking on and laughed, his hair flopped infront of his face, he shook it out of the way and stretched his fully tattooed arms. Frank was the punkest kid in the school, (with his pierced lip and nose) but also one of the kindest and most genuine guys I'd ever met. The cover didn't fit the book, but that's why I liked Frankie.

"Hey lover" he smiled, much to my brothers mock disgust.

"Nancy Boy" Mark (a jock) called as he shoved past Frankie.

Frank and I weren't gay; everybody assumed we were due to the way we dressed and stuff I guess. We just played along with it, good way to make the jocks feel uncomfortable when they wanna beat your head in. It was a plan…it worked.

I yawned and grabbed my sketchbook out of my bag.

"Another day, another master piece" I laughed flicking it open to find the next available page.

I hovered on a drawing I had done when I started in my junior year. It was a self-portrait; I didn't look a thing like that guy anymore. I now had short 'dyed' red hair, back then I had it long and black. My eyes looked dangerous, hazel but fierce. My kid brother Mikey and I have the same eyes although his are always so calm and carefree. Even when he's in his darkest days he always seemed to find the positives in things? I still had the same menacing grin. I was obviously in a revenge daydream when I did this one.

Mikey and Frank were chatting intently about some show they watched the night before, I looked up when they fell dead silent, I mean eerily silent.  
>Mikey's dirty brown fringe flopped lazily over the edge of his glasses, his mouth hanging open and eyes practically boggling out of their sockets.<br>I peered at Frank; he was basically doing the same thing. Following their gaze the same expression punched me in the face.

A girl got out of the car, she had long brown messy hair and wicked blue eyes. She bit her pierced lip nervously. Some guy from the car she'd stepped out of threw something out at her, not to her…at her. It hit her in the back with a thud.

"Fuck" she cursed.

"See ya later loser" he guy in the car called before driving away.

She looked up the school and back at the car which was now at the end of the street, again she looked at the school, when she saw the car was out of sight she sighed turned around and practically danced in the opposite direction of the school, across the road and into town dragging her bag behind her. She was defiantly new, I would have noticed her, I mean she'd probably not know I existed but I would have known about her for sure.

"She's skipping school on her first day?" Frank questioned unsure of what he'd just seen.

Mikey and I simply nodded still not looking away from the direction she'd disappeared at.

**A little while later halfway through Gerard's first period- Biology.**

"Gerard feast your filthy eyes on this" Travis (another jock) laughed thrusting his cell under my nose.

I caught a glimpse of the photo and held my breath in disgust.

"Bet cha wish this was you huh Nancy boy?" I could have smacked him in his smug little face.

It was a picture of Casey Barnes, a girl I'd had a crush on since day 1 (and he knew it). She was sprawled across the bed sleaze style, one hand down her pants the other grabbing Travis towards her. Travis (holding the camera) had a vicious smile; I couldn't bare thinking what happened after that picture was taken. I knew I wouldn't like it.

I swallowed hard.

"What do you think Casey would say if she knew you'd been showing everyone those?" I tried to sound indifferent; it came out more like desperate.

"See what?" Casey's cheery voice sang across the room.

Casey was an average girl, she looked slightly like Christina Ricci (I think that's what made me notice her for the first time?), she was pretty and smart and a girl that would actually take five minutes to talk to me (unlike the rest of the skanks at this school.) We never really talked about important things…just 'what's the date', 'look it's raining'…the same crappy one liner's. I never had the guts to ask her out.

I was so mad at her! Taking those pictures with her boyfriend, I didn't think she was like that? There were tonnes of girls that would sell their body for a nickel around here, but not her…

"The slutty pictures of you and him" I spat.

Casey looked taken back, shocked, horrified and then the look of 'oh shit!' found its way to her face.

I walked out of class, just plainly gathered my things and walked. Casey followed behind.

"Hey what right do you have calling me a slut?" she screeched.

I sighed and turned to face her.

"Do you really need me to answer that?" I scowled.

"Lighten up Gerard, everyone's doing it. Why do you even care? Better yet, why the fuck am I justifying myself to you?"

I shrugged.  
>"Don't worry, you don't have to." I huffed and stormed off.<p>

I didn't know where I was going to go but I knew that if I stayed here I'd do something stupid. I texted Mikey, (he'd be in the same class as Frank) and told them I was going for a walk and I'd meet them at home after school. I didn't get a reply back I hoped I didn't get him busted for his cell in class?

I hummed a tune I didn't recognise and carried on walking. Why the fuck would she do that? It felt like she'd just stabbed me through the heart herself. I was bleeding internally and it hurt like hell. The guy at the store didn't I.D. me; he'd probably sold more liquor to fucked up kids than ice to Eskmo's.  
>I made my way to the park where I found a familiar face, but not one I knew well. The girl from this morning was sitting under a tree drawing in a pad.<p>

What else could really go wrong today? I walked over to her, she looked up squinting in the sunlight.

I introduced myself.  
>"Hi, I'm Gerard" I smiled at her holding out my hand for her to shake.<p>

She smiled at me and shook it.  
>"Ella" she replied.<p>

"Do you mind if I sit?" I gestured next to her.

She shrugged and moved over.

I sat and looked out across the park. Ella carried on drawing. I glanced to see what she was doing and she snapped her book shut laughing.

"Sorry I'm a bit protective over it" she smiled embarrassed.

"It's ok I know what you mean, I draw too"

An awkward silence….

"Maybe we can show eachother sometime?" she blushed.

I handed the liquor to her.

"We'll share this for now" she smiled approving of my choice in drink.

"How come you're missing your first day?" I asked not wanting to get ahead of myself, although this girl seemed easy to talk to.

"Let's just say that school and me don't get along, I'm not thick or anything….it's just the people. I'm the girl no-one knows exists" she looked straight at me.

"I would notice you" I smiled.

"That's probably the liquor talking" she teased pushing me and handing back the bottle. I took a large glug.

_**Ohhhhh, cliff-hanger…like I said, review and get more chapters ^^  
>xoxo<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you to those who reviewed. I've been super busy trying to get all my college work done and it's driving me mad.  
>I've had to tweak bits because I've changed the direction of the story a little. I hope you enjoy the next part. I sure enjoyed writing it ^^ xoxo<strong>_

**Chapter Two.**

**Ella's P.O.V.**

I didn't like this one bit, infact I hated it!  
>This was the usual daily routine, everything simple…get up and showered, dressed, hair and make-up, except I was yet again in a strange place that I had get used to…again.<br>Fuck this for a laugh I'm sure I couldn't have been that bad in a past life to deserve this?  
>In the other home the older kids got first priority of the bathrooms, seem like here the younger ones are first. They are taken to school by Jill one of the Resident Counsellor's.<br>She really just a general busy body who like to poke her nose into where it is not wanted, with no family of her own I'm guessing that she uses us as her daily intake of human contact. She's a lady with a beard, wacky hippie clothes and a PHD in nothing. I actually love her clothes, her beard is growing on me…well it's on her but…gaaaaaaaaahhhh.  
>I like her ok. I said it. I like a care home dud.<p>

*Care home dud (a.k.a Children's home worker)*

Anyway i was going to be taken to school by Stew…what can I say about him? He is the biggest dickhead you'll ever meet in your entire life, you'll travel 47 times, yes 47 exact times around the world before you find anyone who is slightly a comparative to who much of a dickhead he is. But he's actually in the same boat as me.  
>We used to be in another Children's home together, it burned down and nobody knows how it happened (which is highly weird) anyway all of the kids got placedslung/dumped (however you want to put it) in other care home's. I got stuck with Stew! He's the oldest of all of us and next year he'll be finding residency in another home, one of his own, which he is obviously rubbing in my face like crazy!  
>I'd do anything to get out of this stupid system! ANYTHING!<p>

I've never met my real family but for the last 2 years I have been looking for them, looking for answers to my billion and one questions. All I know so far is that my mother's maiden name is Chester. That's as far as I've reached. I don't even know if I have any brothers or sisters? I don't really know anything. They did however live in Belleville New Jersey (that's where my new children's home is, so I'm getting closer) however nobody by that name has lived here for years.

After getting ready and heading out to the car I tapped impatiently waiting for Stew to get his act together. Finally he jumped in and we started off. Silence the whole way until we pulled up outside my new school. I got out and he threw my calculator at me. It smacked me in the back. Ouch!

"Fuck" i cursed.

"See ya later loser" Stew yelled speeding off.

There was no way in hell I was going to school anyway; I didn't need the stupid calculator. When I could no longer see his car a headed off to see what Belleville had to offer. Or rather what I could find out about my family.  
>I found the library, Belleville wasn't exactly a big place and after a little while of wondering I found it, all the buildings looked the same…run down and old. If the buildings had faces and minds they would probably mimic my own. I too was tired of the same old day in day out life and constant disappointment it held for me. I flicked through the history section and once again, found a big fat zero.<p>

"Hi there, can I help you?" a kind lady who worked in the library asked.

I smiled at her.  
>"I'm trying to track my family."<p>

Her kind smile turned into one of sympathy. She sat next to me.

"What do you know so far?" she questioned.

I shrugged.  
>"My Mother's maiden name is Chester; they live in Belleville…that's it."<p>

"Chester, Chester, Chester…" the lady repeated over and over. "I remember a Chester from high school, Linda Chester." She smiled at me turning the pages of a new ream of documents she'd dug out.

"Here!" She exclaimed making me jump.

I looked at her and then down at the paper, I wasn't expecting to find anything, and two years had turned up nothing so I didn't really have much hope.  
>She pointed to where she was reading sliding her finger along the page as she read.<p>

"Doesn't say much, I'm afraid love"

I smiled at her.

"It's ok, thank you for helping me." She welcomed me back to the library any time and continued with whatever it was she was doing beforehand.

I got up and cleared away what I'd been foraging through. All I could think of was the address I had seen, I knew I was a 'homebirth baby', I had probably been born in that house!  
>80 Salter Pl, Belleville, NJ 07109, USA.<p>

I stopped short of my walking into oncoming traffic slowly realising that I was heading towards that address. I picked up a small map of Belleville from the library on the way out and had only glanced down at it a few times. My legs seemed to know where they were going. Either that or I was defiantly lost and couldn't figure out how to get to this place. I found a nice looking park and sat down for a moment of silence, to collect my thoughts.  
>Maybe this was too soon and I was expecting too much. I knew they wouldn't be there anyway.<br>No-body had lived there by the name of Chester for years.  
>Ella Chester…Ella Addams.<br>My name sounded weird whichever way you put it neither of them were my true name. I just took the surname of the first family I stayed with but even that was short lived.  
>I began to draw again, whenever I got scared or nervous or any emotion at all really I drew.<br>A few minutes later I looked up to find a kid with bright hair standing over me. He wore a plain black pullover hoodie and some ripped grey jeans and converse. His hair was the brightest red imaginable, with black roots, but short and shaggy. I looked up at him, not really making out any real features of his face, my eyes were watering from the sunlight and all I could see when I looked down were green and purple blotches. My eyes took a second to adjust.

"Hi, I'm Gerard" the kid smiled. I shook his hand nervously. Nobody had ever introduced themselves to me before. Normally they'd stay well away.

"Ella" I smiled back, blushing.

"Do you mind if I sit?" he nodded his head towards me.

I was in two minds:  
>1. Get up and run like hell….or 2. Move and let him sit with me.<p>

I chose two, we both sat there for a moment not saying anything. I noticed him trying to sneak a peek at my sketching. Not for you to see I thought. I shut my pad giggling at my own thoughts.

"Sorry I'm a bit protective over it" I told him, I sounded like a dick and I realised it as soon as I'd said it. He didn't seem to mind though, infact he was more than understanding.

"It's ok I know what you mean, I draw too" he mused.

An awkward silence….

"Maybe we can show eachother sometime?" I choked out, blushing furiously. Wow this Gerard guy had some 'brilliant' way of making me feel like an idiot.

He handed me a bottle, I looked at him confused for a second and then read the label. Ahh…

"We'll share this for now" I smiled at him sweetly, thankful for the drink.

"How come you're missing your first day?" he questioned.

"Let's just say that school and me don't get along, I'm not thick or anything….it's just the people. I'm the girl no-one knows exists" I smiled at him again knowing how pathetic this sounded. I wiped my mouth, swallowing.

"I would notice you" he grinned.

"That's probably the liquor talking" I assured him giving him a nudge and handing back the bottle. He started drinking too.

"So" he said after a few moments. "What brings you to Jersey?"

I bit my lip unsure of what to tell him.

"My Mom got a new job" I stuttered out quickly. "So we had to move" I added.

He nodded.

"Cool, so what does she do?"

He passed me back the bottle and I sipped it hoping it'd buy me some time to think of something interesting or normal to say.

"She's a vet" I smiled. I lied so convincingly i could have won Oscars.

He nodded again.

"Maybe I'll meet her sometime?" he smiled.

"Yeah maybe" I laughed uneasily. "What about your family?" I asked trying to avert the attention from my newly thought up family.

"My Mom and Dad are divorced"…he stared out into the park, far beyond the playground into the street on the other side.

I nodded.  
>"Sorry to hear that"<p>

He snapped out of his far away staring and faced me crossing his legs and pulling at the loose strands on his jeans.

"It happened a long time ago, I live with my Mom but I see my Dad all the time" he smiled.

His phone blared out Maiden and I smiled at him as he answered it.

"Hey lover" he answered.

All the good ones are taken I thought to myself sighing.

"Nah, I'm just down at the park" he continued with a few more yeah's and no's.

After listening intently to what his girlfriend was saying he laughed and turned back to me.

"Do you mind if my friends come down?" he smiled holding his free hand over the speaker.

I shook my head.

"Great" he smiled.

"Come down, I want you all to meet someone" Gerard cut off the phone without saying bye.

"Who's coming?" I asked, now as nervous as hell.

"Just some friends of mine, that was Frankie. My brother Mikey and our other friend Ray are coming." He coughed covering his mouth with a sideways fist and ran his other hand through his hair.

"What are they like?"

"They are…interesting" he smiled.

Before we could talk anymore three guys came running up to us.

"Fuck!" one of them cursed.

"Guess the coffees are on you Frankie boy!" the tall one with really bouncy, curly hair laughed.

So Frankie is a boy…Gerard's gay? I looked between them.

"Hi" the one called Frankie waved.

Fuck he noticed!

"H…hi" I stuttered out. Damn it! If I were having an outer body experience right now, I'd kick my own ass.

"Why are you looking at us weird?" Gerard smiled.

I shook my head and smiled.

"Nothing"

"Ahh, she thinks we're gay" Gerard laughed at Frankie.

"Nah honey, I'm not that way inclined" Frankie laughed sitting down and putting his arm around my shoulders.

"It's just you answered the phone 'Hey lover', I was expecting 'Frankie' to be a girl" I blushed.

The guys were all finding this highly amusing, much to my complete embarrassment.

"You'll get used to that" the guy with glasses chuckled pretending to be sick. "You got it easy" he continued, "that's my brother." He pointed to Gerard.

He must be Mikey. I smiled at him as he continued to 'be sick.'

"I'm hurt" Frankie cried mockingly. He looked like a heartbroken puppy.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I laughed hugging him back. He cheered up and introduced himself.

In turn so did the rest of them. Ray was the tall, fuzzy haired one and as I had correctly guessed the guy with glasses was Gerard's brother Mikey.  
>They all came and sat down surrounding me.<p>

"So Ella, you got a boyfriend?" Frank asked, stealing a gulp of Gerard's liquor.

Gerard shot mock daggers at him and laughed as he passed it round.

I shook my head and giggled to myself at their little charade.

"Nope…what about you guys?" I asked them all; I thought it would be weird to just ask Frank. I'd just met the guy I wasn't hitting on anyone!

They all shook their heads.

"What was your last boyfriend like?" Gerard questioned.

I laughed again.

"What just curious" he defended holding his hands up and then reaching for the bottle.

"I've never had a boyfriend" I smiled. Their reactions said it all.

They sat the just staring at me like I had told them in a different language and were waiting for me to translate. Gerard put the bottle to his lips, pulled it away without taking any, thinking for a second and then drinking some.

"What? Never…?" Ray blurted out.

"Why are you so shocked?" I chuckled really it was more of a rhetorical question than anything.  
>"I've never been in one place long enough to have one" I smiled and then dropped my smile quick time as I had just remembered about my fake family I'd made up to Gerard.<p>

"My Mom and Dad…they get bored if they stay one place for too long." I smiled sweetly again.

I think Gerard bought it?

I told the rest of the guys about me, the things I like to do, the music I loved. The pets I'd had, (they all paid attention more than they would have in school) and in return they told me about themselves.

My phone rang, it was Jill.

"Oh crap" I stood up and answered in my sweetest voice possible. The guys stared at me knowing that I was in trouble with 'my mom.'

"Hi Ella, do you mind telling me why I had a phone call from the school Principle asking why you were not in school?" she said it so calmly but sarcastic, I could tell she was mad.

"I'm sorry" I whined. I walked away from my new friends out of ears reach.

"Where the hell have you been all day young lady" she couldn't hide that she was mad now.

I sighed and began my story of going to the library and looking for some answers. I also told her about meeting my new friends.

"I told you Ella, as much as you want to find them. They haven't given us any contact information…nothing. I know it's hard to think about Ells, but they don't want to be found." Her voice was now soft and caring. Jill would make an excellent Mother.

I sniffled and wiped a tear that had come out of nowhere.

"I'm glad you made friends" Jill commented trying to lighten the mood. "We'll talk about this when you get home ok? See you soon."

"Ok" I smiled wiping another tear.

I made my way back to my friends after composing myself.

"Your Mom's pissed, huh?" Mikey asked.

I smiled, 'my Mom' wasn't.

Gerard pulled me into a hug. "It'll be ok" he smiled.

I looked at him nodding. "Thank you" I smiled.

"I need to go back to school; she's coming to pick me up."

The guys grabbed their bags and stood up.

"What are you doing" I laughed.

"Coming with you" Frankie smiled.

I smiled back at him. "Thanks guys but I think I better do this alone, she's madder than mad."

Frank nodded but looked unsure.

"I'll be fine" I laughed hugging him. "She won't literally kill me."

His eyes grew wider.

"Joke" I smiled.

"Ok then" Gerard said, "but take our numbers and call us if things get bad." I handed him my phone and he put his number in and passed it to Mikey who did the same, then Ray and finally Frank, whilst I tapped my number into their phones also.

"Thanks" I smiled giving them all a hug before heading off back to school. Whilst I was walking I received a text.  
>It was from…'.' I laughed at what he had put as his contact name and read the text.<p>

_**Frank: Still alive honey?**_

I laughed more and tapped a message back.


	3. Chapter 3

_**I hope that you are all enjoying this story. ^^ xoxo**_

**Chapter Three.**

**Gerard's P.O.V.**

We watched her walk away, she looked so sad as she left.

Suddenly I didn't feel like drinking anymore.

"We heard about what happened with Casey and Travis" Mikey told me, he put his hand on my shoulder.

I nodded.  
>"She's a little slut just like the rest of them" I laughed.<p>

"At least you realised before it was too late" Ray commented routing around in his bag.

I nodded. My friends always made me feel better.

"That Ella girl seems cool" Mikey winked.

"Uh ha" I responded.

Frank laughed as he read his phone.  
>"She's a feisty one alright" he turned the phone for us all to read.<p>

_**So far so good, just calculating how many jocks asses I'm gunna have to kick before I actually reach my car ^^**_

I chuckled. She was defiantly a feisty one.

**Ella's P.O.V.**

Jill was waiting outside as I had predicted. I'm glad the guys weren't here. I'd have been busted for sure. Jill was of Mexican origin, whereas I was obviously born in Jersey. Our skin tones told everyone that we weren't related. I hugged her when I got in the passenger's side.

"You ok?"

I nodded. "I'm fine."

I was not fine. I had made friends (which was great), but almost everything I had told them had been a lie. I hated lying to them, they were nothing but kind. I couldn't have asked for better group. I felt like I'd known them for a lot longer than a day.

We pulled into the drive of the care home. Instead of going straight to my room like I normally would I went into the garden with a laptop from computer tech.  
>In Google maps I tapped in the address, I knew that Jill had said they didn't want to know me, but I wanted to know them. Surely that must count for something?<br>I smiled as I looked at the house. It was a smallish white panelled two story house. The picture must have been taken around Halloween, there were ghosts and ghouls all over the place with pumpkins and skeletons dotted around and hanging up. This looks like my kind of place I smiled.

"Whatcha doing Ella" Lacy sang in her little child's voice.

"Nothing" I smiled clearing my internet history and shutting the laptop down.

"Jill said dinners ready" she called running back off in the direction of the dining room.

That girl, she was always so full of energy!  
>I made my way into the house and took my usual seat. My phone buzzed.<p>

_**Gerard: Just checking you're ok =) are you allowed out tonight?**_

"Who's that from?" Megan asked.

"No-one" I snapped tucking my phone away so no-body else could read it.

She stuck her tongue out at me.

"Be careful" I warned "I'll chop your tongue off with a rusty knife"

"Ella, that's enough!" Jason (another dud) called across to us.  
>I quickly messaged Gerard back.<p>

_**Everything's fine, I'll ask if I can come out ^^ x**_

"She started it" I muttered under my breath.

"I said enough!"

We all bowed our heads in prayer. Megan kicked me under the table. I'll ignore that one I thought. I wanna go out tonight.

A little after dinner Jill called me into her office.

"You can't just skip school" her lecture began; it carried on and on and on. I listened and waited for her to finish, hoping it would be sometime before my 90th birthday.

When she was done she looked at me and smiled.

"Who was that text from?"

A smile crept onto my face, which I couldn't stop from coming up.

"A friend, they want me to go out tonight." I winced expecting her to say no or carry on with her lecture. Instead she said something worse.

"You can go, if I can meet them first and they pick you up from here."

My heart dropped.

"Doesn't matter" I sighed.

"But I said you could go" she smiled at me confused.

"Yeah I know and thanks, but I kinda told them I had a family" I looked down into my lap.

I told her about all the things I had told them. She came over and put a supportive hand on my shoulder.

"I know that you are embarrassed at being here, but little lies can quickly turn into big ones. You need to watch who you lie to" she smiled.

I thanked her and made my way up to my room.

_**Ella: I'm in too much trouble, sorry guys. See you tomorrow ^^ x**_

_**Gerard: Ok honey, see you tomorrow xoxo**_

**Gerard's P.O.V.**

She must be in knee deep; I put my phone back down and grabbed a control. We were playing Xbox; I was against Frank and winning!

**Ella's P.O.V.**

The next day I walked to school, I had full intentions of actually attending. I saw my guys waiting out on the steps and ran towards them before the school bus pulled out.

Gerard handed me a coffee.

"On a scale of 1-10 how bad was it?" he winced not sure he'd like the answer.

"11" I lied with an uneasy chuckle sipping my hot beverage.

"Well you're here now" Mikey smiled. "We won't let any evil Mom's shout at you here."

I smiled and gave them all a hug.

"What was that for?" Gerard asked.

"For being great friends" I beamed.

Nothing more was said on the matter. Two weeks had passed and the guys and I were closer than ever. They kept on asking to come over to my place but as always I'd make up some kind of excuse as to why they couldn't. We'd always went to Ray's house, it was the closet to school and to town. 'My Mom' was turning out to be a real bitch. Thank god she wasn't real or I'd be in the doghouse for sure!  
>My children's home life had gotten better too. We had people volunteering and were buddied up in pairs, at first I thought it was the crappiest idea they had come up with so far but I quickly got used to it. On the plus side I really got on well with my buddy Donna. She was a middle aged lady with blonde almost white hair. Her fingernails were really long and always immaculately painted black or dark purple. She smelt like a perfume store but not an awful kind, she was lovely. I shared my drawings with her and even told her about my attempt at finding my family. She seemed to understand a lot more than the average middle aged woman. Maybe she had suffered some loss similar, although we weren't allowed to ask about our buddies' personal life; they were here only for us.<p>

Today was a Saturday and on Saturday mornings our buddies came for an hour or too. The door-bell rang and I ran for it, excited to tell Donna about my week.

"I'll get it!" I yelled into the dining room from the hall, where most people where this early in the day.

I opened the door to find Mia, she was Megan's buddy. Donna was getting out of her car. I grabbed the post and filed through hoping I might find something for me. No luck I sighed stuffing it back into the mailbox.

"Nothing for you today?" Donna laughed.

I shook my head. "Not today"

She chuckled. "There's someone I'd like you to meet" she continued. "This is my Son" she smiled presenting him to me.

I turned to face her and my heart literally stopped beating!

Standing beside Donna was Gerard. His eyes were nearly popping out of their sockets as he stood there staring at me.

"Ells?" he questioned.

"You two know eachother do you?" Donna asked cheerfully before stopping in her tracks and realizing what was happening. I'd told Donna the whole thing about a week ago. She'd said I needed to fess up, but I'm such a wuss and didn't listen to her.

"Ahh" she said, "I'll leave you two to it." I looked at Donna for help but she was already making her way into the house.

Gerard and I stood there not saying a word. Other people walked in and out but we still didn't move, say anything or acknowledge anyone who said hi.

Tears formed in my eyes and I sniffled.

"I think we need to talk" I finally chocked.

I lead Gerard into the front patio, where no-one would disturb us.

We sat on the bench side by side and the silence continued.

"You've got a lot of fucking explaining to do" Gerard told me, his voice sinister. I'd never seen Gerard like this and I didn't like it.

"I'm sorry" I whispered looking down. Even though I couldn't see his face I could feel his eyes on me.

"Sorry?" he laughed. "Everything you've ever fucking told me has been a lie and you're…sorry" he wiped his nose in annoyance and laughed shaking his head.

My head whipped up.  
>"I'm really sorry ok, there's not a whole lot else I can say" I almost screamed, I was properly crying now.<p>

"You could start by telling me the truth?" he asked in a quieter voice.

I wiped the tears from my face and turned my whole body to face him. I moved his head towards me so he had no choice but to look at my way.

"It's hard" I choked out again.

Gerard looked confused.  
>"What telling the truth is hard for you is it?"<p>

I shook my head.  
>"That's not what I meant, Gerard you're not listening to me" I wailed.<p>

"Why should I? Huh? Why should I believe a single word that comes out of you filthy little mouth?" with every word he said his face got closer and closer to mine.

"Gerard" I whispered. "You're scaring me" he backed off in and instant and looked ashamed for a brief second before retuning back to his anger.

"The only thing I've lied to you about is about me having a family, everything else was the truth. I wanted to believe it so bad, you don't understand." I held my head in my hands and cried as quietly as I could.

Gerard put his hand on my back.  
>"I didn't mean to scare you" he whispered.<p>

I looked at Gerard, his face was still stern.

"Please don't be mad at me? You and the guys…you mean more to me than life itself. You don't know how much it killed me lying to you, but all my life I've gone to school and been the weird kid who lives with strangers, that moves around and never has anyone to turn to. I wanted this time round to be a fresh start, different" I broke off at the end crying more.

"But Ells, we're your best friends, you could have told us at anytime"

"Things were so good" I sniffed "I tried to tell you but I always failed, it never seemed like the right time. I really am sorry Gee" I put my hand into his and squeezed. "I know that'll be hard for you to forgive me, but do you at least understand?" I questioned him hoping and praying that he didn't hate me.

He pulled me into a hug. I snuggled into him tight, this was all I needed now, a hug from one of my best friends. I smiled at him and he kissed my cheek.

"I forgive you" he thought for a second "are you sure there's nothing else you want to share?" he finally asked.

"I suppose this is the best time to tell you" I shrugged. "The past two years I have been trying to find my family. They used to live here in Belleville and I found their address" I smiled up at Gerard and he smiled back at me.

"Wow" he commented.

"I know" I nodded. "I have no idea how to get there though" I laughed.

He smiled "alright new'b, where is it? I'll take you there."

I hugged him tightly again and ran in to tell Donna that Gerard and I were heading out. She smiled giving me the thumbs up and Gerard and I made our way out of the gates.

"Go and get the address" he told me.

"No need" I smiled tapping my head.

"What did you memorise it or something?"

"I've had a week or two to mill it over" I laughed. "80 Salter Pl, Belleville, NJ 07109, USA."

Gerard's face dropped.

"How many times can I get you to do that in one day?" I laughed confused. "What's wrong?"

"That's near the end of my street, I live at 67" he explained.

"Well at least we won't get lost then, hey?" I smiled grabbing his hand.

"Ella" he said holding both my hands and pulling me to look at him. "That's Frankie's house" his eyes were soft and caring, he wasn't kidding around.

"Well that's just a coincidence" I smiled. "They haven't lived there for years, I just want to see the house" I continued.

Gerard didn't share my happiness for some reason.

We reached what I now knew to be Frank's house, there was a lady primping some flowers in the front garden. She waved at us.

"Hi Gerard" she smiled. "Frank's still in bed."

Gerard laughed and looked at me.

"That's Frankie's mom" he whispered.

"Hi, Mrs' Iero" I called.

"Please honey, call me Linda" she smiled pleasantly but my heart stopped dead, as did i.

"What's wrong?" Gerard questioned.

"What's Frank's Mom's maiden name" I asked him almost crying.

He shrugged.

"Hey Linda, what's your maiden name?" Gerard obviously knew her well to be asking questions like this.

"Chester, why'd you ask?" she wiped her forehead and took off her gloves. "Do you wanna come in for coffee?" she asked.

"Gerard, I need to go" I told him walking in the other direction.

"No thanks" he called to her running after me "late for an appointment, just remembered" he waved and she returned the favour.

"What a strange girl" Linda chuckled under her breath.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Okay so I have been getting some emails from people asking me what the situation is with ages and things. So here's to clear a few things up. Gerard and Ray are 18 and in their last year of school. Mikey and Frank are both 17 and Ella is 16. Hope this helps put the story together a bit better. I know that their ages wouldn't be true in real life, but this is my story ^^  
>Anyway I'm so glad that you are getting as into this as much as the others ^^<br>Thank you for all of your support! Xoxo**_

**Chapter Four.**

**Gerard's P.O.V.**

"Ella" I called, I didn't need to see her face to know she was in tears. I pulled her into me and rested my chin on her head. Her whole body shook as she cried and clung into my chest.  
>What a day this was turning out to be, this morning the worst thing in my mind was spending my weekend cooped up with kids that would probably want to kick my head in.<p>

"Come on Honey, I'll take you home."

I wiped her face free of tears and gave her the most convincing smile I could manage. She smiled a little, I took her hand and we walked back to the home.

We were greeted by a few people who were just leaving; there was a women I'd seen my Mom talking to (I think she worked here) she was talking to the couple beside her. It finally dawned on me that they were most likely here looking to foster or adopt. From what Ella had told me earlier, it was never her time. I felt so guilty for being mad at her knowing that all she wanted more in this world than life was a family that loved her and looked out for her. I imagined her disappointed face, meeting the couples and then seeing them take another child home to be theirs. I shuddered.

"What's wrong Gee?" Ella sniffled.

I smiled, acknowledging my sudden change in body language that spelled misery.  
>"Nothing just worried about you, that's all."<p>

She tilted her head in a cute way that made me smile more.  
>"Come on we need to talk." I whispered.<p>

We went up into Ella's room; it didn't fit her at all. Her drawings were dotted around the place but it was too plain and boring to truly belong to someone like Ells.  
>I headed over and sat on her bed and she joined me, crossing her legs and leaning back into the wall. I dangled my foot over the edge and kept my other leg half on, half off the bed.<p>

"What am I going to do now" she sighed on the brink of tears again.

I shuffled closer to her and she leaned her head on my shoulder. I shrugged. I really had no answer I could give at this moment in time.

"I think I should talk to Jill" she finally said.

I nodded. "Who's Jill?"

"Kinda my social worker." She smiled. I was glad that she was letting me in more, it must be hard for her.

**Ella's P.O.V.**

Gerard made on 'o' shape with his mouth when I told him who Jill was but didn't say anything afterwards. We sat there for a moment.

"And I thought things were fucked up before!" I sighed and cleared my voice.

Gerard laughed and bit his lip.

"Do you want me to come with you to talk to 'Jill'?" he asked sincerely.

I don't know how I ever found a best friend life Gerard? But I knew I didn't deserve him. I nodded and we went in search for her. Jill was waving to the couple who we'd seen when we'd come in. They were leaving in their Prius and flashed a smile our way before driving off.

"Hey Ella" she smiled. "Is everything sorted out with your friend?" she smiled toward Gerard when she said the last part.

I nodded. "I have an even bigger thing to worry about now" my voice crackled, I was crying a whole lot today. Gerard's arms were swiftly around me before one tear could escape.

"She's found her biological Mom" Gerard told her, he brushed my hair out of my eyes and I looked up at Jill. Her face was shocked but soon turned into consideration.

"I told you that it wasn't a good idea Ella" Jill began but I cut her off.

"She doesn't know I'm her daughter" I sniffed. "She's one of my best friends Mother's!"

**Frank's P.O.V.**

There was a whole lot of sunlight coming in through my bedroom window, what the hell was the time? I leant over and grabbed my phone. 11:45.

"Shit" I mumbled. I had told Mikey I'd go to his house as Gerard was volunteering today! Mikey is gunna be pissed I thought.

"Dude, sorry I slept in" I told him almost dropping the phone whilst trying to drag on some jeans.

"You owe me Iero" he warned. Great! That probably meant I'd have to buy a year's supply of cookie's or something?

"Sorry" I apologised again. "I just woke up."

I heard Mikey laugh. "Yeah me too, don't worry"

"Hey that means I don't owe you anything!"

"Fraid so Frankie" he teased. "I'd set you as my alarm clock, and as you didn't show, my alarm clock let me down."

"Huh!" I began to argue but Mikey cut me off.

"I'll see you soon then" I said to myself.

I walked into the kitchen, Mom was bopping her head to a track on the radio, she looked up and smiled when she saw me.

"He's alive!" she joked waving her hands out like a mad professor.

"Personal record" I smiled at her, "Mikey's not impressed though"

She laughed, "His alarm clock let him down again?"

I frowned at her, "that's exactly what he said! Is there something going on I should know about….or not" I shuddered.

"Frank Iero" she laughed amazed at what I'd just said. I gave her a look that said 'Sorry I have no idea why I just said that' and she turned off the radio.

"Oh that reminds me, Gerard and some girl, came calling for you"

"Did they say what they wanted?"

Mom shrugged, "Nope, that girl is a strange one though" she laughed.

Gerard…and a girl? That could only mean one person…Ella.

**Ella's P.O.V.**

Jill wasn't much help; she just kept on telling me how dangerous this could have all been.

"They're my family, what could they possibly do to hurt me more than they already have?" I argued back.

That stumped her. Gerard still had his arm around me but with every comment Jill made I got madder and madder. I shrugged him off and stood up, he stood up with me.  
>Jill was supposed to be helping, not making things worse. Her job was to find homes for children. I had found my family, she could at least be happy for me?<p>

"Mrs. Iero doesn't want anything to do with you, her family don't…"

I cut her off.

"WHAT!" I screamed literally at the top of my voice. "HOW DID YOU KNOW HER NAME? I DIDN'T TELL YOU WHO IT WAS!"

I sat back down gasping for breath, "You knew all along."

"Ella please…" she tried to put her hand on my arm. I moved out of the way.

"Don't…touch me" I spat.

Gerard and I walked out of the office and straight out of the gates to the children's home.

"Where are we going?" Gerard asked.

"Somewhere, as far away from here as possible" I shot at him and then felt guilty. I stopped walking and turned to face him. I gave him a quick hug.

"I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you" I gave him a little smiled and her retuned me with one of his own. Gerard had a smile that made me feel completely happy in every way. Sometimes I was sure he only used that smiled with me. He crooked one side of his mouth into a grin showing his little white teeth. I grabbed him back into that hug.

"Thank you" I whispered.

He laughed "what for?"

I shrugged "for being you."

He laughed a little and I felt his heartbeat quicken.

**Frank's P.O.V.**

Eventually Mikey snapped out of his sulky little girl hissy fit for us to actually do something with our day. We had decided to go and rescue Gerard from that volunteering crap. Mikey's Mom made sure they were grateful for what they had and I guessed she was showing Gerard how good he'd got it compared to the kids dumped in that place.

He was already outside with Ella; they looked pretty cosy with their arms wrapped around eachother. Gerard gave me a weird look.

I tickled Ella from behind; she jumped and turned to face me. Her eyes were teary, she'd been crying.

"Sorry" I whispered giving her a hug, she didn't hug me back instead she went stiff and rigid.

"What's wrong?" I asked sympathetically, "and what are you doing here?"

She looked at Gerard, then me, Gerard again and then me finally resting her eyes on Mikey and dropping her head. With a sigh she started crying again. This poor girl, she was about the have a nervous breakdown or something.

**Ella's P.O.V.**

"She's volunteering" Gerard answered for me.

I gave him small smile and shook my head, grateful that he was prepared to keep my secret.

"They deserve to know" I whispered.

Gerard nodded in a way that told me he understood that I had to get it all out.

"I live here" I told Frank and Mikey.

They both looked shocked.

Mikey came and gave me a hug. "What about your family? You told us so much about them." He asked.

"I'm sorry Mikey, I was ashamed, I made it all up" he comforted me more giving me a squeeze. Frank and Mikey were taking this better than Gerard did. Gerard looked a little embarrassed to be honest.

"Don't worry" Frank said, "We're you family now." He smiled. I needed to tell him.

"I know Frankie, but there's more."

Frank raised his eyebrow and looked at Gerard and Mikey. We all sat down on the children's home wall.

"Thing is…you really are my family."

Nobody said anything.

"Frank you are my brother" Frank smiled; when he saw I was serious his smiled faded.

"You mean…for real?"

I nodded. "I found out today."

"Is that why you were at my house?"

I nodded again. Frank caught my tear. I looked into his eyes. They were exactly like mine; this should have been an indication. I look like a female Frankie, I'm such an idiot! So is everyone else for not telling me sooner!

"My Mom think's you're weird…our Mom…."

Mikey jabbed him in the ribs.

"Ouch! Sorry Ells…brain not thinking syndrome"

I laughed to myself.

"What happens next?" I asked them all Frank in particular.

Mikey twiddled his thumbs, Gerard and Frank shrugged.

"Did you know your, our Mom was pregnant with me?"

Rage suddenly entered Frank's eyes. He stormed off, we all followed.

"Frank, you need to calm down. She doesn't know it's me. She doesn't want anything to do with me" I cried to him out of breath. I tried to grab his arm and pull him back but he was too fast and not stopping for anyone!

"FUCK THAT!" he screamed, "She taught me that family was the most important thing in life, she's a hypocrite!"

We reached Frank's house and all followed him in. I squeezed Mikey's hand; he squeezed mine, a bit surprised at my action. His was the first hand I could grab, Gerard took my other one.

"Why didn't you tell me I had a sister?" were the first words out of Frank's mouth.

His mother stood there shocked, she didn't even bother denying it.  
>"It was a difficult time darling, Dad and I were going through tough times…" she trailed off.<p>

She looked hurt trying not to relive the memories of 16 years ago.

"I wanted to tell you Frankie, but It was never the right time" the tears in her eyes spilled over. "I would have loved to have kept her, be a family but your Dad and i…we were headed for divorce. I couldn't bring another baby up on my own!"

"You wanted to keep me!" I repeated astonished.

All eyes were on me, Frank's Mom hadn't even had time to acknowledge Mikey, Gerard and I standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"YOU!" she ran towards me pointing a finger.

Frank jumped infront of me shielding me from his crazy mother.  
>"Leave her the fuck alone" he warned.<p>

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" she diverted her finger at him.

"Why?" she asked me.

I looked at her and sniffled "because I deserve a family too" I whispered.

She looked more sympathetic now.

"How did you find us?"

"The other children's home burned down and I got shifted here, I knew that your maiden name was Chester."

She smiled and looked at Gerard. He looked sheepish. Gerard had been the one that had asked her earlier. Mikey and Gerard's hands were making mine sweaty I wiped them and laughed. The brothers did the same. Linda sat at the kitchen table and lit a cigarette, she looked like Audrey Hepburn.

"Do you want to know me?" I asked her in the quietest voice I've ever heard.

_**Hopefully you won't all die from suspense and I might still have a few living readers ^^ xoxo**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Here you go guys a little more ^^ xoxo.**_

**Chapter Five.**

**Frank's P.O.V.**

I held Ella's hand, she looked at me but I kept my eyes focused on my Mom. This seemed it would be the make or break answer.

Mom sucked in a breath and faced us.

"Indie…I"

"Indie?" Ella and I questioned her together.

Mom smiled to herself. "I named you before you were born."

I smiled at my sister. "Indie Iero" I pondered.

"It suits you" Mikey congratulated Ella giving her high five.

"My name is Ella now" she whispered still looking at Mikey. She looked like she was in shook.

"I want to know her Mom." Ella held my hand tighter. If Mom didn't feel the same I'd want to suck up all her pain through our contact.

**Ella's P.O.V.**

Frank was never one to really express his feelings to the outside world. Instead he let it all out in his guitar playing (he lived and breathed music, that guitar was one amazing guitar too). He said this with all he had; you could tell that he really, really wanted this more than anything. He wanted me! I was glad that for once i had people to rely on, in my corner, my best friends and now a brother.

"I need to call your Father" Linda told us she went into the other room and we waited for her to reappear.

"I have a brother! Frankie, you're my big brother" I enthused.

He laughed and hugged me.  
>"You better not forget the <span>big<span> brother part" he smiled etherising the 'big'.

"This is amazing, I've known you for nearly 3 weeks. How could I not know who you really are?" My head was spinning, this was a feeling I didn't want to end. My heart was about to explode but this time it was not because of disappointment. I was happy, truly happy.

**Gerard's P.O.V.**

I stood with my arm slug around my brother's shoulders and watched my friends happiness unfold. They would finally know the feeling of having so much love for a sibling that they never understood before. We laughed as they joked around and pretended to fight. They had a lot of things to make up for; with all the time they had lost already. I consciously kept staring into the hall for their Mom to return. I hoped it would be good news. I don't think either of my friends could handle it if it wasn't?

I had to accept that I wasn't going to be the closet one to Ella in our group anymore. That was going to take some getting used to…

**Ella's P.O.V. **

Linda entered the room, passing the phone to me. I took it and pressed it to the side of my face.

"Hello?" i mumbled nervously. My voice was shaky and uncontrolled.

**Mr. Iero:** "_**Hi Ella, how are you?"**_

"_Erm…I'm ok, it's all a bit…surreal…" _I fumbled nervously with my hair, I'm surprised my hair wasn't falling out with all of these secrets that were springing up.

"I_** know what you mean; I didn't think this would ever happen.**_" He laughed uncomfortably and cleared his throat. Someone called to him room the building he was in.

"_**Sorry honey, I'm at work. I'll come and see you soon ok?"**_

"_Ok, I'd like that…thank you." _I smiled; I wanted to meet my Dad. Although I wasn't sure he was ready to play happy families?

"_**For what?" **_He seemed confused…

"_Not running away_"…Saying it out load made it sound like a stupid thing to say, but if we were being truthful I wasn't leaving anything out.

"_**I'll never leave you again Ella. I promise. See you soon girl."**_

I smiled my eyes teary.

"_Ok then…bye."_

**Frank's P.O.V.**

Ella cut off the phone and gave it back to my Mom. She hugged me tight around the middle and I comforted her as she cried. Today had been all a bit much for her I guessed. I wonder what he said?

My Mom spoke to him for a few minutes in the other room.

"He sends his love" she told me smiling.

I nodded holding Ella close.

"Ind…Ella?" My Mom's voice was soft as she spoke.

Ella looked up at her and wiped away her tears.

"Come here darling, I'm so sorry."

Mom pulled Ella close to her, both of them crying. Saying things that didn't really make sense to Mikey, Gerard and I, but the blubbering pair seemed to understand eachother.  
>After a few more minutes they cheered up a little. Mom thought this was a good idea to get the photo album out.<p>

We all went into the living room and sat on the couch, Ella and I either side of Mom, Gerard (Ella's side) and Mikey (my side) sitting on the arms.

"This is your father and I on our wedding day" she smiled. She pointed to her belly in the picture.  
>"You were at our wedding too" she smiled to me.<p>

We went through other pictures and them Mom found a photo that I had never seen before. It was me when I was really, really young, maybe one, holding a newborn baby.  
>That baby was Ella…<p>

_**Sorry it's a short chapter but I have been writing for my other stories too ^^ xoxo.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Wow I've been rushed off my feet; I'm so excited to be writing more of this though.  
>Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much ^^ xoxo.<strong>_

**Chapter Six.**

**Ella's P.O.V.**

We all stared at the photo's I wished so hard that I could remember that life. Linda told us that she'd only kept me for a month at most before I was given to the children's services.

"Look at this one" Linda enthused, holding up a picture so we could all get a better view. There was an older man holding a baby and standing next to him sticking his tongue out to the camera was a little Frankie.

"That's our Grandfather" Frankie beamed proudly. I smiled at him and laughed.

"That's so weird….cool, but weird."

We looked at the photos for a very long time, it was dark outside before I got a call from Jill asking where the hell I was, although she probably had a pretty good idea. I guessed I'd be in trouble when I got back…

"I don't want to leave" I whined laughing. Gerard pulled me into him.

"Come on I'll take you home." He grinned one of his famous Gerard grins.

I smiled at him, glad that I had a friend like Gee, the only obstacle I had now was telling Jill the 'good news'. I was still mad at her for not telling me where my family were.

I hugged Frank and Linda.

"See you at school Sis" Frank smiled. I ran back and cuddled him; he caught me and squeezed me back tightly.

I was so happy and it showed. Gerard and I walked back as slowly as possible. I was in no rush to get my face chewed off by 'Care Home Duds'. I danced around Gee in circles he watched me and laughed.

"Psycho" he coughed hiding a smirk.

"Moiré?" I gestured pointing to myself and pulling a sour face. I smiled at him and held his hand.

I blushed a little realising what I'd just done and peaked sideways at Gerard's expression. He seemed cool and relaxed, not embarrassed at all. I loosened up and swung our arms to the rhythm of our steps.

"You know what, I'm actually looking forward to school tomorrow" I stated much to Gerard's disbelief.

"Wow Ells, is that really you in there?" he tapped my head.

"Hey!" I laughed pushing his tapping finger off my brain. "Don't damage the genius"

He chuckled and flung his hair out of his eyes.

"I'm glad you're happy" he smiled in a more serious tone. Stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.

**Gerard's P.O.V. **

Ella held my hand tight, it was nice. Nobody had ever made such a gesture toward me. This was a feeling I could get used to. Not many people looked at me in a way that Ella did. She knew that I was socially awkward. She knew I was revengeful and hating of the world. She also knew about the bottle I kept under my bed but the thing I really wanted her to know more than anything in the world never left my lips. Concealed in my thoughts like my true identity, people looked at me and saw a strange boy, a freak.

My thoughts were interrupted; we were at Ella's 'home'.

"I wish I could stay with you" I admitted a little too freely. I really had to keep track of my mouth and heart at the same time.

She hugged me as hard as she could.

"I wish you could stay with me too" she smiled that sweet smile. I'd never get used to the feeling in my stomach when she did that. I was a little taken aback that she wanted me to stay with her too?

"You're my best friend Gee, I wish you'd never leave" she laughed and tied her hair back. "I am not ready for that though" she nodded her head towards the front door where Jill stood tapping her impatient foot.

"You've got to face her sometime sugar, but remember, I'm only a phone call away" I assured her.

She nodded; I gave her a quick squeeze and waited for her to enter the house. She pretended to hang herself and have a small wave and chuckle before going inside.

I walked back to my house with my hood up, head down and hands in my pockets contemplating on running back to Ella and kidnapping her….. Not really a fabulous idea. She was in enough trouble already and I knew what people around here would be thinking. New Jersey wasn't the most forgiving place and they did like a bit of gossip.

**I'm so sorry it's been ages since I updated this one, I'm refreshing all of them so stay tuned ;) Xxx**


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